Great Friday

I haven't had a really good day in a long time, so it was nice to have such a great Friday after a few funky days. Which always seems to get worse at night. Ever notice how anything not great (depression, flu, headache, etc) always seems to get worse at night?

Anyway, it started with a REALLY good dream concerning something Tessa and I had been discussing the days previous. Basically I was really troubled and down about something that she refused to allow me to give up on, and that dream seem to only illustrate what she was trying to tell me. Might sound silly but it really felt more than a dream and ever since then I've been re-motivated. Feels really nice :) That was followed by a pretty good walk with Dalila. Yeah we're still working on the walking thing, we have our good days and our bad days. Slept well all morning, got ready for my appointment at the clinic and for the first time I wasn't anxious at all. Not even jittery, which is really unheard of for me these days. Panic disorder makes life very hard, and even simple things like a short bus ride can completely set me off. Good moments like this kind of add to the hope that this isn't going to be forever. The appointment itself went really well, we came up with a lot of good ideas that are hopefully going to really help. You know something's right when you feel like you're right where you're supposed to be, and that's how I'm feeling here now. After two years of this I'm finally going to start getting better.

Despite the cold I stopped at Tim Horton's on the way home and grabbed myself an ice cap. It's usually hit or miss how well it gets made, I love it when it's really full. Which this one was, so that was nice. Nearly froze my hand off on the way home since I forgot my gloves (better than forgetting something important though!). Dalila handled the extra crate time well - no whining, no pacing and most importantly, no accidents. Huge bonus. Then I even got around to the task of gutting out my closet. I have a floor in there! And I found a whole bunch of stuff I had been looking for, including stuff I had forgotten about. Lots of crap to get rid of, and hopefully this time I won't bury my floor again. Feels nice to clean up these little corners, and it may sound weird but sometimes focusing on something else gets ideas going. I guess because you're not so focused on the writing, it's easier to see the forest for the trees as it were.